Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
