remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
