There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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