pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
