i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My balls are so social today.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's blow job season.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
