note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
