Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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