Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
