Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
