My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
