Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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