She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
