I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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