Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
