my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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