It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
