They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
