I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
