No, you can still breathe under the balls.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
