Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize