so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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