I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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