Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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