I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
