We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
