I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
