At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
