Your face is a jimmy john
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he shaved USA in his pubs
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
