Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
