I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
