I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
