Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
