When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
