I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
