I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
