I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
