i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
