He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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