Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am available for nakedness
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
