Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
