Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
