Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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