She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize