It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize