Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
