i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
