It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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