I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
