At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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