So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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