and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
