pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
