I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
