Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
