Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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