Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
